wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
