Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize