dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
