My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
