Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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