I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
