I look better un-naked...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
