I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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