UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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