billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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