the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
