Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
