Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
