She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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