u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
