I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize