Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
