hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize