I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
