just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
