I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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