True but thats because hes a fetus.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
