I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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