Your face is a jimmy john
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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