i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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