i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize