Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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