Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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