Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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