her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize