it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
