The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
