Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
