hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
