At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
