Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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