Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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