how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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