OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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