WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
