Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
