Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love accidental penises.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
