what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
