so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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