Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
