You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
