Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
