mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
