If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
