lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
