So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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