i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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