Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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