She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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