hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
