Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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