Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
