Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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