p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
