How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
