my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
