just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
