she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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