Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize