im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
