Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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