yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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