I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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