you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
