We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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