You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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