no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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