you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
